Alas, the Machine Rumbles on

Sup. My Rage Against the Machine tickets arrived the other day. It was a very sad moment of realisation when I noticed that my dad's mail I had signed for, was actually my ticket. I'm fairly sure that going to the concert would count towards a module for my A Level in life, but life is shit anyway, and I decided not to take it.

If I was to use an analogy to descibe my blog it would be an empty cave with random cavemen scribblings on the wall. Not even good scribblings, just the shit stick men which make you truly doubt cavemen were ever really that awesome to begin with. I'm basically using this blog to randomly procrastinate, as always, whilst venting my anger that I can't go to Rage Fest. Did I say they have Gogol Bordello supporting as well? I love Gogol fucking Bordello, and Gogol Bordello are almost as good as they are.

I love how the encouragement that my English teacher gave me when I asked ages ago was merely worrying where it was, rather than the fact I should be revising for my English exam the next day. But it's in London, so I wouldn't be able to get back at any reasonable time anyway. This would have actually made my life. I was in the Natural History Museum in Washington DC when I found out I'd got tickets, looking at random skulls, and it was a pretty epic moment.

Go to your exam. Fuck you I won't... fine, I will. *sigh* maybe I wasn't cut out for all this anti-society shit anyway. I'd like to live on the edge, I mean the views must be nice, but the insurance costs a fucking bomb. And I don't have a bomb. I guess what really sucks is that not only do I love the band, but the gig means something to me, having had random arguments with McElderry fanbois all through December. #Ratm4Xmas was my pinnacle. At that point, Twitter was my Oyster. And I was a master of Oysters. I favourited the most retarded arguments I had back at me during all this, actually. Epic lolz. They're like the only things on my Favourites list that weren't written by me.

"fkin coon, ratm are SHIT!!!!!"

"do you understand? you are supporting some old cunts from 1990... welcome to 21st century :)"

"am i saying that? you are supporting them over a boy who WE voted for to win? They people support some old shit? LOL... OK"

"so ur saying every song that doesnt have a purpose doesnt deserve 2 be #1? songs stopped havin a purpose in 90s where they stay"

"if it was such a fail? why did he win and why is x factor still going? i'm just saying leave the songs with meanings behind.. x"

"i'm not saying that atall lol.. let's look at rihanna - umbrella, number 1 for 11weeks.. no cause? causes don't belong in 00's"

"but like i've said in like 10 other tweets.. music stopped having a cause.. leave it behind thats why no one makes them anymore"

This guy turned out to be racist as well. So that underlined my perceptions that he was utter scum. Which was good. Please, read this cunt's retarded arguments and tell me you don't just want to cut yourself.

Henceforth

This is the second part of that entry just now, if you like. Now, I know what you're thinking- "Who the fuck do you think you are doing a two-parter, Harvey, the fucking writer of Dr. Who?". You probably aren't thinking that. But if you are, then my psychic training really has gone to plan.

Anyway, last week I went to an inter-school debate. The plan is that 4/5 schools from around the area gather up and do it, but only two of us turned up. Me and Alexej are notorious because we represented our school as speakers at the inter-school debate last time, only for everyone else to drop out out of sheer fear of our mighty debating skills. We were so good that they didn't even manage to make a point in response to us. That means me and him not only have a 100% winning record, but that we naturally earned our self-dubbed nicknames 'Juggernaut and Destroyer'.

This debate was at an all girls school in the area, which meant that basically I felt like a serial sexual predator walking in. When we got up to their common room, they had a massive 'Wall of men' which was filled with pictures of men, sometimes half-clothed. I was shocked and appalled at this. We don't even have walls at our school. Naturally, I checked to see if I was on the wall, but they must have had no pictures of me available, or something, because I couldn't find me.

The debate was weird. We had two other Year 8s from our school, and two Year 10/11 girls from their school, as well as me and Jacob. So we each had 3 speakers, and Alexej chaired. This was funny, as we basically just shouted at each other the whole time and Alexej had no control. I didn't have any notes, so I just drew pictures of the Simpsons on a sheet of paper before improvising a 4 minute speech, 'twas fun.

But forget the debate. Me, Joe, George and Alexej went into town on the weekend. Yes, you heard correctly, town. We began by spending half an hour in the apple store going on webcam with each other and taking pictures (thus my Twitter picture of me and George) and generally had a rave. We then saw this guy who balanced himself on a tight-rope whilst playing the violin. Joe immediately shouted 'He's from Cardiff, we have to give him money!'. His explanation for this was that he saw him when he went to Cardiff once, but I could tell that the Violinist had sent him some subliminal message telling him to give him money.

George's girlfriend works in the Library, and Alexej needed the toilet, so we went to the Library, where there are toilets as well. Alexej spent 2 minutes walking up and down the corridor, confused by the fact that they were both girls toilets, and he needed to go downstairs. There was a sign saying this, but he thought it would be best to leave it until the nice old lady directed him instead. After this, we went into the library and played hide of seek, naturally, and found George's girlfriend before realising we were idiots and leaving again almost straight away. I asked her if they 'had any books by Pendulum', because George bums Pendulum, but alas, they did not.

Then came the epic WH Smiths moment, where as Alexej was looking through potential Calculators to purchase (he bought the £20; goon), we ended up getting into a conversation with the man and woman behind the counter. As George and Joe left, me and Alexej were left talking with them. They were telling us how they are forced to ask people if they want to pre-order the Twilight DVD, which we all agreed was shit and needed everyone involved massacred immediately, and how this embarrassed them. The woman then said 'But I get 6 creme eggs for doing it though!' so I asked whether it was really worth the embarrassment. Alexej, in a very Alexej-esque manner then said 'I'd give them sex for 6 creme eggs'. Everyone burst out laughing, including me, and we left.

Here's the video of George attempting to throw his rubbish into the bin immediately after. But other than that, epic times. Toodlepip y'all.

http://twitvid.com/4UPHV

Thus

Right. So I basically made this blog with the intention of writing about my New York trip. Now I'm left at the stage where I've written about that, so what the fuck do I do next? If by 'next' I mean a month later, then I shall write another, entirely trivial and mundane entry next, depicting my pitifully boring life.

I've grown a huge affinity for Classic Rock over the past few months. Not only is it good to listen to, but the fact that you can be so snobby to the rest of society is excellent. I maintain that saying 'The Beatles' to 'What's your favourite artist of all time?' is on a par with 'so is your mum' as the greatest comeback ever used in the history of the world.

I've just realised that I have something genuine to write about in my blog, but seeing as I've started off writing this entry with no purpose whatsoever; leaving it to inevitable constant rambling about nothing interesting, I shall continue in this vein- like a captain solemnly going down with his ship, if his ship were a shit blog and the captain were a superawesome human being writing the blog.

I'm listening to the Rolling Stones at the moment, me and my friend are going to see them if they actually reunite and do a tour. This would be unbelievably awesome. I'd be going for purely scientific purposes, of course, merely to observe the effects of hideous amount of LSD and Crack on pensioners' attempts to use their zimmer-frames and whether this actually affects their ability to play their instruments. (Note: 'play their instruments' was not supposed to be any kind of euphemism, naturally I immediately noticed this possible ambiguity, being a huge pioneer of 'that's what she said' and the ilk, but this was definitely not meant in that manner)

I've just booked a Uni open day at Nottingham. I want to do Law, if you (by you I mean the one figment of my imagination actually bothering to read this) are remotely interested. I need 3 A's, which means I have to work hard. This sucks, might I add. But I've been a step ahead of most people I know merely by knowing what I want to do and where, so that's good. I should imagine it's hugely competitive, being 4th in the country for Law, so I'll need to think up my back-up options better though.