Day Five

This was the first day in Washington DC. I slept with George this night. Apparently I groped his ass with my leg as we were asleep. Clearly the rufilin must have not been strong enough...

Anyway. The rooms were much nicer, and had a working shower, which ruled. We'd been up the night before having the most hilarious time discussing 'In a parallel universe...' things, naturally. Jacob didn't find these funny at all, and was trying to get to sleep in the bed which he didn't have to share with anyone. This was because Alexej wasn't man enough to sleep with another man for the night. He sat on a chair and was adamant that he was going to sleep there. It was quite hilarious, in the night he ended up falling off and just sleeping on the floor.

We spent this day on a 4 hour guided tour around all the Government buildings and monuments. Our tour guide was brilliant, in the sense that she was a total racist bitch who I wanted to smack more than Claire on Heroes when she goes on one of her episode rants about how she is 'only wants to be normal'. She persisted in pointing out regularly how they 'beat us in the war'. She also decided to point out how many of the buildings had been in 'Night at the Museum' and 'National Treasure'. Now, these are very famous buildings. They are in many movies. So why would she choose two such shit movies? Anyway. Some of the pavements were really icy, because it had snowed more than in DC's history in the past week, you know. But it wasn't too bad. They really deal with snow a lot better over there. It was predicted to reach 55 inches, and at this point in the UK they were saying 'Heavy Snow' forecast, with a mighty '2 Inches'. Now, I'm not trying to say that mine is bigger than yours, but trust me, it was huge. If only there was some way I could sneak in an immature joke about this...

The most memorable bits we went to on this 'tour' were the 'Nam memorial, The White House, The Smithsonian Natural History Museum (Yes, it was in Night at the Museum! *Cuts self*) and the Lincoln Memorial followed by the Washington Monument (Pencil). Firstly, with the 'Nam memorial, you might not understand it like we do. You weren't there, mannnn. It was at this point that our tour guide praised us for our walking abilities, saying that 'Americans wouldn't walk that far... they'd get the Subway'. Not us, this was only fuel to the fire in my ever increasingly burning idea that we were the true kings of men. We also went to the World War 2 memorial, so you can tell already that this was a light-hearted, joyous day out.

Anyhoo, the White House was awesome. Now, you might have already read about how me and George stripped down to our mere shirts in these serious sub-zero, arctic, far worse than the day after tomorrow, conditions. But this was nearly as good. Basically, I like Obama. I bought a 'Yes We Can' shirt, ages ago that has his Acceptance Speech written onto the front. Naturally, I decided to strip down on two occasions (One from the front, and then from the back, of the White House) just so that my shirt could get a showing in front of the White House. I like to think he was staring out of the window, thinking 'Wow, that's one cool kid there braving these conditions that would kill any mere mortal, just to show how politically aware and active he is', he probably was, in fairness. But I should probably have been more worried by the fact that there were two snipers on the roof genuinely focussed onto us as we'd stayed in front of the White House 'longer than we are allowed to', supposedly. They were probably thinking I was stripping down to unveil an explosive device.

The Lincoln Memorial was cool, and from it you can see the pool of water that has the Washington Monument (Pencil) in the background, which was in Forrest Gump (And Night at the Museum, probably FML). What made this awesome was the fact that it had completely frozen over and people were walking on it. Apparently this was dangerous. But as you might be able to tell, I like to live life on the edge. You know, every now and then I like to interrupt the teacher by a light cough, sharpening my pencil slightly too much, murdering those who go against me, that kind of thing. But yeah, I didn't walk on there anyway, we weren't allowed. The path next to it was so snowy/icy that it was unbelievably hard to walk on, however.

The Smithsonian Natural History Museum was where we went to fill in the final hour of time we had in the day before going back to the Hotel to prepare for our group meal out. I remember I was walking through some section about man through the ages when I received a text from my dad telling me that 'I had got Rage Against the Machine concert tickets'. This was one of the best moments of my life. It turns out I can't go now, due to exams, of course, but that takes nothing away from how good I felt then, with my friends walking through random museum sections. Me and Alexej wondered into some Movie about a Squirrel's party and how this related to evolution, and George tried eating everybody's muffins, naturally.

In the evening we went to the ESPN zone for a group meal. It's just a huge sports arcade where you can also eat. I lost to a girl at Basketball, 3 times, and then lost to her at Air Hockey, twice. My Air Hockey skills are crazy. I once managed to knock the puck roughly 20 yards into the Shoe Collection Zone in Bowlplex, after serving it against the edge of the table. When paying for Tokens, the lovely American lady shouted at me because instead of putting the money into her hand, I put it in front of her hand by about 1 inch. We passed China Town on the way back, so naturally I started shouting taunts of 'Free Tibet Town', and that ended our day. George couldn't get into the bed in the night, as he came in late after being downstairs most of the night and found I had taken up most of the bed. He slept for a couple of hours on the floor. I had a lovely night's sleep, however.

Oh yes, there was also some American in a shop who asked me where we came from, to my reply 'England', they said 'Oh, I didn't think you were even speaking English.' Win.